Emotional support for siblings (grandchildren)

Helpful approaches on how to emotionally support the siblings of your grandchild diagnosed with cancer (your other grandchildren):

Siblings often feel neglected because so much focus is on the sick child. They also need time, attention, and consistency. Try to spend one-on-one time with them,  even short moments matter for e.g., going for a walk,  having a meal or just watching TV  together.  Keep routines when you can. Familiar routines help children feel safe and cared for. 

Encourage them to talk about their feelings. Children may not want to worry their parents, but they’ll often open up to a grandparent. Gently open conversations by asking them how they are feeling about everything happening with their  brother/sister? Let them know that it is okay and normal to feel sad, scared, or even angry.  

Listen without correcting or minimizing their emotions. Sometimes children – especially small children might express feelings through play, drawing, or stories instead of words. 

Reassure them that they are loved and important. Siblings may feel “invisible” or think they must be extra good to avoid causing more stress. Remind them  that they are just as special and loved as their brother/sister diagnosed with cancer. Tell them that everyone’s doing their best right now, and that they are an important part of the family.

Some children secretly believe that they caused the cancer.  Address guilt or misconceptions and reassure them gently and clearly that nothing they did or did not do, say or did not say caused the cancer. Cancer is nobody’s fault.  

Create moments of normalcy and joy by helping them to have  fun and just be kids. Laughter and play are healing too.

Encourage open family communication and support the parents to talk honestly to all their children about what is happening in an age-appropriate way. As a grandparent, you can reinforce those messages and help siblings to ask questions without being scared.

Watch for signs of emotional distress like changes in sleep, behaviour, school performance, or withdrawal as these can be signs of stress. If you notice these, gently talk to the parents and consider suggesting a counsellor or child psychologist experienced in paediatric cancer.