Practical Care for Your Child During Cancer Treatment
The importance of discipline in supporting your child diagnosed with cancer
Your child diagnosed with cancer still needs discipline and you may feel torn between protecting them, avoiding extra stress, and still needing to guide their behaviour. The truth is, children on treatment still need boundaries, routines, and discipline, however with more sensitivity, flexibility, and compassion. You will need to separate the illness from the behaviour. If children misbehaved before cancer, the behaviour during treatment will be worse. You cannot excuse everything because of cancer, but at the same time, recognise when behaviour is caused by pain, fatigue, medications like steroids which can cause urgent, intense hunger, mood swings, depression or anxiety. Even in hospital and during tough times, routines and clear expectations give children a sense of stability and normalcy.
Discipline is teaching a child correct behaviour and not a punishment. The goal is to guide with love and patience, not punish. Your child needs to learn boundaries and coping skills, even while sick. Remember that some medication side effects can cause mood swings and irritability as well, and you will need to discipline with extra patience and kindness. Secondly, the hospital environment makes children feel out of control; acting out is often a cry for safety. Balance empathy and boundaries by acknowledging that they have pain, but that it is not acceptable to be rude or to shout at people. Don’t expect every day to be the same because the child’s pain, level of energy or emotional strain may change from day to day. Be realistic in your expectations and how you manage the behaviour.
Practical ways parents [caregivers] can cope:
- Set clear and gentle boundaries by using simple rules reminding the child how to speak respectfully. Keep expectations realistic because your child may be more irritable or dependent than usual.
- Treatment takes away a lot of their power. Giving small choices reduces defiance — for example, ask them whether they want to brush their teeth before or after their story.
- Use positive reinforcement by praising effort, bravery, kindness, and cooperation. Small rewards (stickers, extra screen time, choosing a game) can motivate good behaviour.
- When your child has meltdowns, redirect their attention with play, art, or calm activities. Sometimes distraction works better than confrontation. Ask the Child Life Specialist or the Social Worker about distraction tools or available apps on Play Store or App Store.
- When it is safe, let natural consequences guide you; however, avoid consequences that may risk their health. For example, if they refuse to eat, they may feel hungry later. Monitor the situation carefully and ask for professional help if you cannot cope.
- When a child misbehaves, you may have to apply the time-out principle. Sick children often feel isolated. Instead of sending them away, sit with them quietly until they calm down. Connection soothes more than separation.
How to take care of the sick child
As a parent /caregiver your life has changed, and you now need to take care of a sick child. You might not know how, but eventually you will learn to cope by learning new skills, duties and by applying new knowledge.
Practical ways parents [caregivers] can cope:
- Learn to give medication correctly and on time or how to manage feeding tubes if that is the route for medication.
- Keep track of complex medication schedules – either use a diary or a device.
- Learn the side effects of your child’s medication like fever, bleeding or infections. Be alert and have the contact numbers of the hospital or the on-call doctor on hand.
- Manage and apply hygiene rules. Your child’s immunity may be very low due to the treatment, so a sterile environment with regular cleaning routines is important.
- Don’t allow people with infectious diseases to visit and ask friends and family to wear a mask as a precaution, at every visit, provided your child does not have low blood counts.
- If your child has a Port or IV Catheter, be sure to be instructed on how to take care of it between visits.
Tips to keep your child well at home
Remember that chemotherapy reduces your child’s immunity and ability to fight infections by targeting fast-growing cancer cells as well as white cells called neutrophils which help the body fight infections. Radiation normally affects the specific treatment area, but high-dose radiation can also damage the immune cells thus reducing their ability to fight infections.
- Wash hands or use a hand sanitiser frequently to reduce the spread of germs.
- Regularly clean any toys that your child plays with and avoid your child sharing toys with other children who might be carriers of infectious diseases.
- Do not allow anyone who has a snotty nose, runny tummy, chickenpox, shingles, mumps or measles to visit your child. Any contact with an infectious disease should be reported to the treating doctor or hospital urgently!
- When your child’s blood counts are low, it is wise to check if visitors are allowed with your treating doctor before allowing any visitors. Obey any instructions given by the treating doctor.
- Avoid all take away foods (fast foods) and reheated food. If possible, only allow your child to eat fresh home-made food.
- Use clean knives, forks, and spoons for your child. Avoid sharing utensils or food.
- Avoid all pets that are kept in cages (especially birds and reptiles) and limit contact with other pets. Do not allow pets in your child’s room, and do not let pets sleep on your child’s bed.
- Avoid smoking near your child or in the house.
- If your child has a fever over 38 degrees Celsius / 100,4 Fahrenheit, phone the ward and speak to the sister in charge to get instructions as to what you should do. Follow the instructions carefully and make contact with the ward again if there is any confusion, doubt or uncertainty.
- Do not give your child any over-the-counter, homeopathic, alternative or traditional medicines or supplements unless cleared with your paediatric oncologist. These can interfere with the treatment process and reduce its effectiveness.
Listen to
- Support for your Family when a child has cancer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwh0ZnJwJq8
Apps for parent handbooks [Download on the Google Play Store or App Store]
- CHOC Childhood Cancer Guide. 2025. Google Play Store. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.entelect.chocApp&hl=en-US
- Children’s Oncology Group. COG KidsCare App for parents and caregivers of children with cancer. Available in English, French and Spanish – Google Play and App Store. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/cog-kidscare/id1579361693
- Camp Quality. Kids’ Guide to Cancer. 2024. Google Play Store. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.campQuality.kidsGuideToCancer&hl=en App Store https://apps.apple.com/us/app/kids-guide-to-cancer/id1576849111
- Phoenix Children’s Hospital. 2020. Our Journey with Cancer. App Store. https://apps.apple.com/ie/app/our-journey-with-cancer/id1487121075
- My Cancer Family. Help for you. Support on the cancer journey. 2023. https://apps.apple.com/in/app/my-cancer-family-help-for-you/id6462194557
Was this article helpful?
Related Articles
Educating your community of family and friends
Sharing a child’s cancer journey with one’s community can raise awareness, build understanding, and gather emotional or practical support. However, it is equally important to do so in a way that protects the child’s privacy and the family’s emotional wellbeing.
Message from parents to parents
Hearing that your child has cancer is one of the most overwhelming experiences a parent can face. It often triggers a series of emotional and psychological reactions, commonly described in phases like the stages of grief, though each parent may experience them differently.
What are the hinderances to childhood cancer treatment?
The path to treatment is not always straightforward. For many families, there are barriers along the way — and recognising them in your own context is a powerful place to start.